you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
