chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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