You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
