okay pat passed out under dana's car
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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