it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
tequila makes me forget i have legs
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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