JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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