You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize