Ambien. No doubt about it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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