i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
