Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
