I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
