he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
