mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
