dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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