just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
