An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
