We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
