i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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