Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
