oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
