There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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