Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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