i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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