I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize