Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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