Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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