That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
