dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
