she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
