She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
