I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
