Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
