my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
