This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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