I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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