can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
