i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
