shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
