um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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