before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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