I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
