I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
