is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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