wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
