oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So much rum. So many feels.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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