would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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