Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
