I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They took my balls.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
