So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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