kristin has been a bad kristin
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Randomize
