I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
