The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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