3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
