Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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