first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
