Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You took a bar mat shot.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
