I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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